I carry a pill (it’s a muscle relaxant, calm down) everywhere I go.
First because I nurture a ridiculous faith in this little pill. To me, it is fully capable of curing me of anything that comes up along the way.
Headache from hearing drunk friends’ nonsense? Little pill.
Pain in the ingrown toenail that got stepped on by a bulldog? Little pill.
Did I break a tooth while kissing a statue that looked a lot like L from KLB? Little pill.
- Oh, AB, didn’t you say it’s a muscle relaxant?
Yes. But I also maintain the belief that everything is muscle.
We are a muscle, you know?
And relaxing is great.
So relaxing our muscle - which is us - is the best.
Reason 2 is that I feel very ready to help someone.
I also carry little animal band-aids for that purpose.
And what if someone needs it? I’m there, ready.
A benevolent princess!
I HAVE CRAMPS! - Want a little pill?
OH NO, I WAS RUN OVER BY A TRAIN, HELP! - Easy, dear, here, take a little pill.
MY BOYFRIEND CHEATED ON ME WITH MY UNCLE! - Hey, my angel, you need a little pill.
And maybe a Pikachu band-aid.
So, honestly, I only see advantages in being that person who carries the little pill wherever she goes.
The other day I went to a music festival with my sister.
One of those outdoor ones, with several shows, and that you have to be young to go to.
Buuuuut... Fact 1: I’m not young.
Fact 2: nobody there was young!
Because the festival’s bands weren’t young either
And I ask you: Who was it that invented a show like that, lasting hours, for a 35/40+ audience???
And I myself answer: Someone who knows that I MY VERY SELF would be there with my little pill.
Anyway.
Before the last and most anticipated show started, I notice a young woman (ok... she was more of a lady than a young woman, but what matters is the heart) with her head down, leaning on her husband, clearly not doing well.
I thought she was going to throw up.
But then I heard: I’m in a lot of back pain. I’m not going to be able to stay, honey.
It broke my heart.
Because it was the main show, you know? And as a lady-girl myself, I felt for the girl-lady.
I approached - like a complete crazy person - and asked: ma’am, I have a little pill, do you want one?
And she, smiling: yes.
Good deed done. Peace on earth between ladies and old bands.
Buuuuut... I was harshly criticized by my sister, who considered my act of kindness irresponsible.
First because I was listening in on someone else’s conversation. But so what, right? You’re also here reading someone else’s story!
Then because I could be a psychopath and be poisoning someone. But I’m not! I am a benevolent princess.
So for me it was a victory, yes.
I took the opportunity and popped a little pill myself, too. To relax my shamelessness muscle.
Beautiful show.
